It is a constant source of wonderment to me how people in NYC can be
so ignorant when it comes to a rather simple concept: intersections.
The city’s streets are home to a never-ending war between two opposing
forces… vehicles and pedestrians. Both sides employ a variety of dirty
tactics in order to gain any kind of temporary advantage.
The Pedestrians
What they lack in size and momentum, they make up for in tenacity.
These warriors of the sidewalks often step several feet out from the
curb in an effort to intimidate oncoming traffic. If a car is foolish
enough to slow down in order to avoid hitting them, they seize upon
this moment of weakness as justification to walk right in front of the
vehicle, forcing it to stop completely. The most elite pedestrians
don’t bother with these kinds of newbie tactics and just start walking
across the road regardless of any vehicular deterrence.
The brave men and women on the front lines pave the way to victory
for their comrades. Seeing that cars must slow down anyway so as to not
obliterate these zealots, the rest of the troops take the opportunity
to cross as well. A steady stream of foot traffic continues the barrage
until the walk signal is illuminated, at which point the more timid troops
who remained on the curb during this ordeal scurry across.
- Punching/kicking the hoods of cars that stop too close
- Holding up one’s hand as though it were some sort of magical car-stopping device
- Being oblivious to the outside world
The Vehicles
These road warriors are at somewhat of a disadvantage in this
perpetual battle. Since their collisions with pedestrians invariably
end up harming the pedestrians far more severely, they are given most
of the responsibility of avoiding such occurrences.
However, the bolder among them are still inclined to play chicken
with the pedestrian zealots and curb-steppers, daring them to try
stepping further out onto the street. The most reckless simply speed up
as they approach the intersection, determined to frighten
pedestrians back onto the relative safety of the curb and give their
vehicle brethren a brief respite.
Another favorite tactic is the barricade. During this maneuver, a convoy
of vehicles enters the intersection as the light turns red, even though
the traffic on the other side is already backed up into the crosswalk.
Pedestrians are then forced
to weave their way between cars in a Frogger-like fashion as the
traffic starts to move again. In some cases, a truck or bus will
time things such that the middle of it ends up squarely in the middle
of the crosswalk, forcing pedestrians to walk far and wide out of their
way to get around it, or else stand there waiting until it eventually
moves again.
- Honking incessantly
- Yelling obscenities / flipping the bird while driving past
- Turning into the crosswalk inches in front of pedestrians (to keep them on their toes)
- Speeding through intersections at night without any headlights on
- Barreling into easily avoidable puddles on the very edge of the street in order to drench as many pedestrians as possible
